Monday, April 19, 2010
Do you ever notice how we criticize and condemn ourselves for enjoying life? Why is it that when I am sitting on my deck, soaking in the sun, breathing in the fresh air, listening to the songs of the birds and just "being" that I feel guilty for not "doing"? Sometimes I have to say that I hate living in a culture that only values activity and accomplishment, not resting and enjoying. We seem to be so fearful of becoming lazy that we work ourselves into an exhausted frenzy and then we're resentful for not being "allowed" to rest yet we feel too guilty to actually take the rest. Well, I want to start a rebellion. I want the freedom to enjoy myself without condemning myself. I am on a mission to let go and to be at peace with being a person with a soul, not a machine whose only value is in what it can produce. Back in January I wrote in my journal that this is going to be the year of peace not pursuit, of praise not production. Can I tell you how hard that goal has been so far?! Being still often takes more effort than working myself to death. Yet I long to laugh and enjoy without wondering if I'm failing or neglecting something more important. What could be more important than enjoying and being grateful for the life that God has chosen to give me? Yes there's sorrow, "In this world you will have tribulation" Jesus said, but he also said "in me you may have peace, take heart; I have overcome the world" (John 16:33). So I am trying to relax and let go; I expect the sorrows, I expect the "have-to's" but I don't have to let them rob me of my joy and confidence that Jesus has it all under control and I am allowed to enjoy life without feeling guilty.